{"id":5159,"date":"2025-07-22T13:26:19","date_gmt":"2025-07-22T13:26:19","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/qollab.ca\/?page_id=5159"},"modified":"2025-08-04T18:55:51","modified_gmt":"2025-08-04T18:55:51","slug":"photo-pnp","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/qollab.ca\/en\/photo-pnp\/","title":{"rendered":"Expo photo \u00b7 consentement"},"content":{"rendered":"
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In the blur of pleasure - A photo exhibit on consent in the context of PnP\/chemsex<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t
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Step into a world where queer sexualities and drug use intertwine, and where consent takes shape through art. The photos, taken by people who engage in PnP\/chemsex, tell their stories and reflections on sexual consent. The exhibit invites you to reflect, alone and with others, on the different ways we can imagine consent in the blur of pleasure.<\/strong><\/h5>

Created in collaboration with the Cri de ralliement, Fiert\u00e9 Montr\u00e9al, and members of the community, this exhibition emerged from the participatory research project PnP & Consent, led by Maxi Gaudette (PhD candidate in Public Health at the Universit\u00e9 de Montr\u00e9al, Qollab). PnP\/chemsex refers to the use of certain drugs, such as crystal meth, GHB\/GBL, or ketamine, with the intention of having sex, mainly among gay, bisexual, and queer men, as well as trans and non-binary people. As part of the project, people who engage in chemsex were invited to take photos capturing their experiences, perceptions, and reflections on sexual consent in these contexts. They then discussed their images during an interview, allowing for a deeper exploration of these issues. The exhibition In the blur of pleasure highlights their artistic work. Each photo is accompanied by a title and a descriptive text or interview quote.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t

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\"\"<\/figure>

Distorsion<\/h3>

In this image hides the reflection of a man at rest, distorted by a warping mirror. The body blurs, everything becomes abstract. In the context of PnP, consent can also become blurry, distorted, and elusive. In this hazy zone, the boundaries of consent can dissolve, opening the door to situations that are not fully consensual. But, like the vivid reflections of blues and yellows in the image, this blur can also reveal flashes of freedom, intensity, and pleasure. \u2014 Andr\u00e9 Patry<\/p><\/div><\/div>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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The paradox: Consenting to no longer controlling anything <\/h3>

There's a culture of risk in chemsex. How can I prevent this when I want to take the risk? I want to take the risk of surprise, of the excitement, of the unknown. So how do you get consent in these situations? I don't know, because I wanted to blur the lines by going into that gray zone. \u2014 Alex<\/p><\/div><\/div>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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Plesure and loss<\/h3>

During cruising there's something more mysterious and riskier too. Because there's a risk involved. It's like Russian roulette: you're going to have unprotected sex, and it spices up the intercourse. \u2014 Ali<\/p><\/div><\/div>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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Fist<\/h3>

\"I'm the one who does the fisting or inserts the toys. Everything is discussed before we start. You need to really listen. You have to pay attention to his breathing, his eyes, to see if his pupils are too dilated. Is he too high? Can he understand what I'm saying? If not, we stop.\nSometimes he says, \"\"No, no, more, don\u2019t stop, don\u2019t stop!\"\" And I say, \"\"No, no, we\u2019re going to stop, you need to drink some water, you need to rest. Whoa!\"\"\" \u2014 Anonyme<\/p><\/div><\/div>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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Oasis<\/h3>

\u201cOasis\u201d once a joyful symbol of connection and community, now becomes a haunting echo of something taken from me\u2014 my agency, my safety, my consent. Through this piece, I\u2019ve begun to liberate that word from the weight it took on. This spiral works both ways: it draws out what was trapped inside me, while also pulling me inward to confront it. It\u2019s a reclaiming of space within myself. If someone who\u2019s lived something similar sees this painting, I want them to feel liberation, expansion, and an awakened sense of self-care. Reclaiming this moment through art means I have the power to decide. I am not what happened to me, I am what I create from it. This is not just expression, it is resistance. \u2014 Carlos\n<\/p><\/div><\/div>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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Mizaru \u2022 Iwazaru \u2022 Kikazaru \u2022 Sezaru <\/h3>

\"See no evil\" \u00b7\n\"Speak no evil\" \u00b7\n\"Hear no evil\" \u00b7\n\"Feel no evil\"\" \u2014 Conrad\n\n\n\n\n<\/p><\/div><\/div>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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Untitled<\/h3>

\u2014 James Ottoline\n<\/p><\/div><\/div>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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The glamourizing process of adopting the sexpot persona<\/h3>

The lipstick is bringing out my femininity. The lipstick itself is pretty phallic\u2026 It\u2019s sensual, and actually, it also looks like a clit. Lipstick is sexy, sexy, sexy\u2026 And the Lolita sunglasses with the rainbows on them and shit like that. Everything\u2019s queer as fuck! Loving it. Kinky collar, lipstick, heart-shaped sunglasses, funky crazy dyed hair. It\u2019s: \u201cWe\u2019re all in girl!\u201d \u2014 Margie Fancypants\n<\/p><\/div><\/div>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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Beneath my skirt too short, my underwear <\/h3>

At a party full of chems, I was raped. Two of my closest friends cleaned me up afterward, in a silence filled with pain. A few days later, one of them said to me, \u201cWell, you were kind of asking for it.\u201d My tutu in this photo, shorter than ever, calls out that kind of discourse, which hurt me as much as the assault itself. What lies beneath is as vividly colored as the silent rage that lived inside me. When will we understand that no skirt is ever too short, no drug use ever too much, to justify such violence? \u2014 Michel<\/p><\/div><\/div>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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Daddy broken; drug found<\/h3>

In two intense years of using crystal meth, I went through all the reflections shown in this image. It helped me move forward in ways I couldn't have without crystal meth. Without crystal meth, I wouldn\u2019t know I\u2019m all this. It helped me see that: I\u2019m a human being, I\u2019m good, I\u2019m bad. I\u2019m good and bad. Before crystal meth, I thought I was a good person, never bad. But on crystal meth, well I\u2019m also bad. And I had to accept that, thanks to crystal meth. In the BDSM world, there\u2019s a term called \u201cshadow work.\u201d It\u2019s when you work on all your darknesses, all the bad things in you, you explore them essentially. Learning that about myself was spiritual. \u2014 George Kofi Asumadu Duah\n<\/p><\/div><\/div>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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Non-stop<\/h3>

\"A barber pole light\u2026 spinning endlessly, with no beginning and no end. In PnP, when you\u2019re in it, you always want more. More pleasure, more euphoria, and you don\u2019t want it to stop.\n\" \u2014 Anonyme<\/p><\/div><\/div>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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Night bills<\/h3>

It was always the same modus operandi: I go to the same metro station, get off, head to the same ATM, withdraw some money, 200-300$, then I\u2019ll have fun. That machine is the portal to one or two good hours of ecstasy. \u2014 Diego<\/p><\/div><\/div>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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The weeping fir tree <\/h3>

When you're using, consent is never really clear. Often, I don\u2019t even want to stay, but I end up staying, unable to leave. The truth is, I just can\u2019t assert myself. \u2014 *Vnonyme<\/p><\/div><\/div>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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Untitled<\/h3>

\u2014 James Ottoline<\/p><\/div><\/div>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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A strange blizzard that fogs and chills my judgment <\/h3>

There are so many ideas in this photo. There's the whiteness of that well-known substance. There's also the slightly lost feeling of... where it takes me, personally. And I think that, when you're in that state, consent isn't clear, just like in my photo. The pattern of consent becomes very, very blurry, like frozen water. \u2014 BBM<\/p><\/div><\/div>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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3 operating modes <\/h3>

The sober guy is seen as a sheep, the one doing PnP, a sexual pig, and the one in psychosis, a headless chicken\u2026 This photo is a visual that really captures when PnP becomes excessive. Crystal meth gives you the sense of like, I\u2019m free, I can do anything, right? High, I consented to wanting to do everything that\u2019s taboo and dirty. But there\u2019s a certain power in being a sober whore. One day, I\u2019ll be fully there. \u2014 George Kofi Asumadu Duah<\/p><\/div><\/div>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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Eyes<\/h3>

\u201cEYES\u201d is a collage composed of photographs I took throughout Montreal\u2019s Gay Village. For me, consent starts in the eyes. Before a word is spoken, there is a silent dialogue that unfolds in the way two people look at each other. The gaze can be an invitation, a boundary, or a question. The process of taking these pictures was almost cathartic. At first, I felt exposed, watched, but gradually, that feeling shifted. I stopped caring about who was looking at me and instead focused on capturing the feeling of being seen. This piece isn't just about observation, it's about reclaiming the power of the gaze, transforming it into something expressive, emotional, and affirming. \u2014 Carlos\n<\/p><\/div><\/div>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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Consenting to give yourself blindly <\/h3>

Chemsex is a way of giving yourself completely without seeing yourself, so without self-judgment; a way of being ready for anything, of breaking taboos, of going all the way without knowing how else to get there. It\u2019s accelerating full-speed into pleasure. And if there\u2019s no fireworks, there\u2019s still the thrill of the unknown, of surprise, of the inappropriate, the shameless, even the impossible. With crystal flowing through my veins, I feel neither fear nor worry of bruising myself. Tomorrow, I won\u2019t know what I\u2019ll look like. Nothing matters. And that\u2019s exactly what I want. \u2014 Alex<\/p><\/div><\/div>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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What do I want?<\/h3>

Consent was about so much more than an agreement between two partners. There were so many parts at play within me, I started to realize how powerless I was over sex. I couldn\u2019t give myself permission to leave, regardless of how dry and sore my body was, or how cold and cruel the person I was having sex with was. I was trapped by my own desire for intimacy, trapped by this endless need to use others and let myself be used. \u2014 Jake\n<\/p><\/div><\/div>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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Look<\/h3>

Just through someone\u2019s gaze, you can tell whether the other person is interested or not, without needing to speak. I look at their face. I look at their eyes, where they\u2019re going. You can tell right away if it clicks or not\u2026 In this photo, you can see it in my eyes,a sense of curiosity, questioninga... A need for acceptance. Falling in love happens through the eyes, through smells, through attitude; it\u2019s all of it together. \u2014 T4llge3k<\/p><\/div><\/div>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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Group Pleasure <\/h3>

That night when we had group fun in the sauna, and later on, in the hallways. The young blond guy, the Latino, and the daddy from out of town\u2026 With our non-verbal language, we understood each other without needing to speak. \u2014 Marc<\/p><\/div><\/div>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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Web zombie puppet <\/h3>

Nights and days spent hypnotized in front of the screen, chasing an elusive void. In this dark universe, consent is a spider\u2019s web, intricately woven, where hypnosis turns us into zombies, moved by invisible strings. At that point, consent becomes an illusion: distorted, fragile, false. \u2014 Michel<\/p><\/div><\/div>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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I end up slamming<\/h3>

I feel really dirty. I\u2019m ashamed. I\u2019ve never been comfortable fully letting go with a guy, and I don\u2019t understand why that fucking shit makes me do it. I miss women. I\u2019ve had a good time with guys, you know, but it\u2019s not in my nature. I went too far. I didn\u2019t listen to myself. I didn\u2019t listen to my heart.\n \u2014 \u00c9ric<\/p><\/div><\/div>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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Mandingo - BBC<\/h3>

We can\u2019t really talk about\u2026 beauty standards in the gay scene without bringing up the racial aspect\u2026 People are looking for Black stereotypes. So either the Black is the dominant top with a 20-inch, or the submissive femme slave who will do whatever the white man wants. \u2014 George Kofi Asumadu Duah<\/p><\/div><\/div>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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Beautiful gay affirmative six tubes of GHB, backlit and magnificent<\/h3>

There\u2019s talk about \u201cThis date rape drug,\u201d which it is. I\u2019ve been assaulted with this chemical, but I also have space for it in my life as a conscious, decided thing \u2026 when I\u2019m having sex on GHB, everything aside from sex ceases to exist \u2026 By eliminating the inhibitions, it allows me to really, really dive into the joy and thrills of the experience. \u2014 Margie Fancypants\n<\/p><\/div><\/div>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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Cycles<\/h3>

My experience of consent in the context of PnP has always been one of trying to piece together, after the fact, a moment of losing myself. Afterwards, you try to patch together the fragments of the last binge, to put the right pieces of your brain back in the right place, but there are gaps, and everything comes back in a light that's too harsh; neon lavender, I just know it hurts the eyes\u2026 This image conveys the idea that you can\u2019t really close the loop of consent in the context of chemsex. This is the idea of consent that gets reconstructed once everything has already happened. \u2014 Gr\u00e9gory<\/p><\/div><\/div>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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Frozen Crystal<\/h3>

Despite its captivating shine, this crystal remains, for me, a refuge of darkness and coldness. Its deceptive beauty contrasts with the distance it creates: a separation from oneself and from others, a mirror of the isolation that brilliance can sometimes bring. \u2014 Michel<\/p><\/div><\/div>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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Maxi warmly thanks the participants for their trust and expertise, as well as the Community Advisory Board who has guided this project from the very beginning. Thanks also to RRSPQ, Fiert\u00e9 Montr\u00e9al, SSHRC, FRQSC, and CIHR for their financial support.<\/p>

Cover photo credit: Michel<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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Dans le flou du plaisir – Une expo photo sur le consentement en contexte de PnP\/chemsex Plongez dans un espace o\u00f9 drogues et sexualit\u00e9s queer s’entrem\u00ealent, et o\u00f9 le consentement prend formes \u00e0 travers l\u2019art. Les photos, prises par des personnes pratiquant le PNP\/chemsex, racontent leurs exp\u00e9riences et r\u00e9flexions du consentement sexuel. L\u2019expo vous invite […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"elementor_header_footer","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-5159","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/qollab.ca\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/5159","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/qollab.ca\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/qollab.ca\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/qollab.ca\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/qollab.ca\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5159"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/qollab.ca\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/5159\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5379,"href":"https:\/\/qollab.ca\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/5159\/revisions\/5379"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/qollab.ca\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5159"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}